What Anxiety Really Looks Like (It’s More Than Just Worrying)
- Yourdeline Sertyl
- 3 hours ago
- 3 min read
As a therapist, I often hear people say, I do not think I have anxiety, I am just always on edge. And honestly, that makes sense. Anxiety does not always look like constant worry or panic. A lot of the time, it shows up quietly, in your body, in your relationships, and in how hard it feels to actually relax.
What’s really going on and why this happens
Anxiety is not just about thoughts. It is your nervous system staying on high alert for too long. Your body is acting like something bad might happen, even when nothing is immediately wrong.
For many people, this started early. If you grew up needing to be strong, responsible, or emotionally aware of everyone else, your body learned to stay ready. For many Caribbean clients and people of color, anxiety is often tied to cultural messages about pushing through, not complaining, and holding everything together.
Anxiety can also develop after stress, loss, medical issues, family conflict, or experiences that left you feeling unsafe or unsupported. Even if you tell yourself it was not that bad, your body remembers. This is not a weakness. It is your system trying to protect you.
How anxiety shows up in daily life
Anxiety often hides behind being productive or reliable. You might feel tense all the time, struggle to turn your mind off at night, or feel exhausted even when you rest.
You may replay conversations, worry about disappointing others, or feel guilty setting boundaries. For some people, anxiety shows up as people pleasing or perfectionism. In the body, it can look like headaches, stomach issues, chest tightness, shallow breathing, or constant fatigue.
Over time, this can affect relationships. You may avoid conflict, keep things inside, or feel responsible for everyone else’s emotions, which can lead to burnout or emotional distance.
What you can do about it
The goal is not to get rid of anxiety or force yourself to calm down. Anxiety is a signal, not a problem to fix.
Start by noticing patterns with curiosity instead of judgment. When does your body feel most tense? What situations make your shoulders tighten or your breathing get shallow?
Simple grounding practices can help. Slowing your breath, placing your feet firmly on the floor, or gently noticing your surroundings can help your nervous system feel safer. These small moments add up.
Boundaries matter too. Anxiety often grows when you are overextended or emotionally carrying others. Setting small, respectful boundaries can reduce stress, even when cultural expectations make that feel uncomfortable.
And most importantly, you do not have to handle this alone. Anxiety feeds on isolation. Support helps your system settle.
When therapy can help
Therapy gives you a space where you do not have to be strong, perform, or explain yourself. As a Boston therapist, I help clients understand how their anxiety developed and what their nervous system actually needs now.
Working with an anxiety therapist or trauma therapist can help you move beyond just coping. Therapy is about creating safety, choice, and relief, not quick fixes.
What to expect in your first session
Your first session is a conversation. We will talk about what brought you in, how anxiety shows up for you, and what you are hoping for. There is no pressure to share everything at once. We move at a pace that feels safe and manageable.
Most people leave the first session feeling relieved, like they finally said out loud what they have been carrying.
Ready to take the first step?
Schedule a free consultation with Safe Space Counseling here:
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